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Grief And Desire

by Augustine

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    An intimate self-portarit of the Italian songwriter; a diary – where the 15 tracks are chapters.
    Purchasable with gift card

      €6 EUR  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A simple and smart paper box, designed by Antonio Rossi. Artwork by Sara Baggini (Augustine). Cover picture taken from the videoclip for 'Augustine' by Francesco Biccheri.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Grief And Desire via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      €8 EUR or more 

     

  • Deluxe Limited Edition Compact Disc
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    A very particular paper box, resealable with an elastic band; unconventional format, reminding a book or a notebook diary, designed by Antonio Rossi. Artwork by Sara Baggini. Cover picture taken from the videoclip for 'Augustine' by Francesco Biccheri. Additional written contents inside.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Grief And Desire via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
GRIEF AND DESIRE The head is still feeling the cold Sidereal cold And everyone’s growing apart Real sore The hand is still feeling the cold Withering cold And everything falling apart Moves forward Why am I called to this? Grief and desire Millions of times to this Grief and desire Oh, what’s close? Your name is a curse Oh, what’s close? Your name to me is a curse Why am I called to be Grief and desire? Millions of times between Grief and desire Oh, what’s close? Your name is a curse Oh, what’s close? Your name to me is a hold
2.
Augustine 03:15
AUGUSTINE At the court Of my lord I was the chosen one The favourite When he walked Into the ward I heard his voice inside me Calling me “Come now, come now, come now…” I wisely kept Shaking my shameless body Like the priestess Of his cult Until I reached The state of glory That infallible eye Was greedy for And to call me He must be fond of Must be fond of me Augustine, Augustine, Augustine After the crash A sudden hush and latencies That was not Really me Just longing for Another call he’d offer To my blood and soul “Come now, come now to me” And to call me He must be fond of Must be fond of me And to call me He must be fond of Must be fond of me Augustine, Augustine, Augustine Then I knew It was me Augustine, Augustine, Augustine
3.
Two Loves 03:32
TWO LOVES I’d got two loves At one time I’d got two loves By my side One on my left One on my right One was dark And the other one fair What shall I wear, Garlands of flowers In my hair? Yes, I braided Bridal flowers In my hair A scarlet garment For the blame A scarlet garment None just dares to wear I’d got two loves Bright and fine One was too hot One stone-cold These loves of mine Both kept me alive I’d got two loves And that was nice What shall I wear, Garlands of flowers In my hair? Yes, I braided Bridal flowers In my hair Yes, I did braid Garlands of flowers In my hair Yes, I did braid Garlands of flowers In my hair
4.
TELL HER LIES Tell her lies that she can’t sense Tell her lies that she can’t sense Tell her lies that she can’t sense – no Tell her lies that she can’t sense – no She’s false – she’s vile She just steals everything that shines And comes from the deep And comes from a deeper mind She’s like a vampire She will drain you right from the inside Well, she’s greedy She’s got the greed of the poor, while I need you here – I need you apart I need you near – I need you apart I need you here – I need you apart I need you near – I need you apart She’s rough and raw She’s got nothing of her own Grabs what she can grab Through your inner folds Once she’s got the haul She pretends, she flaunts But carefully hiding Carefully hiding her source, so Tell her lies that she can’t sense Tell her lies that she can’t sense Tell her lies that she can’t sense – no Tell her lies that she can’t sense – no I need you here – I need you apart I need you near – I need you apart I need you here – I need you apart I need you near – I need you apart
5.
Hibiscus 03:32
HIBISCUS In secret grow Disclose The secret ¬– grow Hibiscus In secret grow Disclose The secret – grow Hibiscus Then it was when I received your love It was then that I Allowed your love It was your love It was your love It was your love The ocean brought along Hibiscus Then it was love Then it was love The distance made known And I thought: ‘it would be Such a perfect place to die This would be Just the right moment’
6.
IN THE MOUNTAINS You and I used to walk For hours Side by side we used to walk In the mountains With no words Oh, wherever we roved (Apart in our thoughts) Oh, however withdrawn We just knew we were close Close – on days of bond But one day we wandered on Till nightfall Side by side we wandered on In the mountains With no touch Oh, we hurried home (Night starting to fall) Oh, on our way home We both felt we were lone We both felt We’d left something – oh, no (Something had dropped from our hands) We tried to look for – oh, no (It was too dark by then) We called out loud – oh, no (Echoes our only response) We couldn’t do more – oh, no (We lost our love in the mountains)
7.
CAESIOUS WAS THE COLOUR Caesious, caesious and dull Was the colour of my love’s eyes Caesious, caesious and pure His face – ivory bloom Caesious, caesious and dull Was the colour of my love’s eyes Caesious, caesious and pure Lichens upon his tomb What do his eyes see Caesious – in the earth? What do his eyes see Caesious – never more?
8.
A Dream 02:00
A DREAM I am lost Dragged for miles Through the night Cast very, very deep In the dark Like a trunk Some heavy, heavy Odd force drives me Along the unknown road Something weighty Obscure and eerie So I’m thrown With the car Rather far Into the desert fields Through the dark Sullen bark Some heavy, heavy Force while they’re all Asleep in the houses Moves me, shakes me Drops me, engulfs me And while they’re all Asleep in the house It moves me, shakes me Drops me, engulf me – Ah!
9.
Reverie 03:33
REVERIE I’ll let it come And I’ll open out to it And then let it rise In halos above the air I can’t contain it I can expand for it No, I won’t explode Until it becomes a flare …Streams up high on my way Till it flows Streams up high on my way Till it flows Streams up high on my way Till it flows…
10.
Bruno 04:54
BRUNO Did you bring us here? Walnuts trees were hiding Tits arriving From the wooded soil When we first came here I had dreams of rise Old echoes of time From a heathery soil And Isabel gathered basil Isabel gathered some basil for us Did you bring us here? I leave tears of glory Every morning To the river’s coil Since you’ve brought us here All my dreams of ascent I let descend To this air and soil And Isabel gathers basil Isabel gathers some basil for us In my life I had to take care All the names hold meanings They must be unfolded In my life I had to take care Every place holds meanings They must be unfolded Oh, my life – I have to take care All the things hide omens They must be unfolded Oh, my life – I have to take care All the names hide omens They must be unfolded
11.
Bice 03:11
BICE (Vita) Vieni, piclèta Vieni, beelè Segui la luce E vedrai… Voce Luce Bice
12.
SPEAK MOTHERESE Mamma, did I leave too soon? You’ve got me, still got me Mamma, did I leave too soon? You’ve got me, still got me Won’t you speak Speak motherese to me? Won’t you speak Speak motherese to me? Mamma, did I leave too soon? You’ve got me, still got me Mamma, did I leave too soon? You’ve got me, still got me Won’t you speak Speak motherese to me? Won’t you speak Speak motherese to me? Won’t you speak Speak motherese to me? Mamma… Tell me the words you need to say To be a mother to me – still Only the words you need to say To be a mother to me – still
13.
Guilt 03:20
GUILT Talk to me – God Stay off this I lost the access To my bliss – oh Talk to me – God Stay off this I lost the access To my secret bliss Talk to me – God Stand outside I lost my colours Lost my shine – oh Talk to me – God Stand outside I lost my colours When I came to light And had to be lone, lone… And had to be lone, lone… Talk to me – God Stand outside I lost my feathers All my signs – oh Talk to me – God Stand outside I lost my feathers When I came to life And had to be low, low… And had to be low, low… I had to be low, low I had to be low, low Since then I’ve always looked for benedictions Since then I’ve always looked for approbation Since then I’ve always looked for expiation Since then I’ve always looked for someone who save me
14.
Freckles 03:23
FRECKLES When I swung from the walnut tree You were my twin brother In frenetic hide-and-seeks We searched for each other And I’ve always looked for your white face In each man I’ve met I’ve always looked for your white face In each man I’ve met Deep in the valley floor Bread burnt on the fire We sealed our fate with blood We both in a wire And I’ve always looked for your white face In each man I’ve met I’ve always looked for your white face And all your freckles Freckles – We lay in the snow Freckles – We lay in the water Freckles – We lay in the snow Freckles – We lay in the water And I’ve always looked for your white face In each man I’ve met I’ve always looked for your white face And all our freckles Freckles – Where are you now? Freckles – I can’t find you Freckles – Where are you now? Freckles – I can’t find you I can’t find you I can’t find you Never lost image, never lost image, oh Maybe lost image, maybe lost image, oh Freckles Freckles Freckles Freckles
15.
Azure 03:17
AZURE Azure the name and the colour And a flame that blinds me Azure so clean to her father To the world outside Core of the flame that blinds me Core of the flame that blinds me Core of the flame that blinds me Core tie Azure the panes and the troubles And the flame that blinds me Azure the days by the fire In this cold damned house Core of the flame that blinds me Core of the flame that blinds me Core of the flame that blinds me Core of Core of Core of this flame

about

'Grief And Desire' is conceived as a sort of diary or autobiographical novel, where the 15 tracks are the chapters. The nature of this project is very intimate and introspective, which fits in with the place that gave birth to it (a small house in the Umbrian countryside where the songwriter lives); hence the choice of home-recording and vocal layering as modus operandi. In fact, such a reflective and withdrawn mood couldn’t let anybody else join the project, in these first phase. Each instrument (guitars, bass, percussions, software drums, keyboards and synths)is played, recorded and programmed by herself. In the ultimate phase of the work, she was joined by the Italian producer and artist Daniele 'Boda' Rotella for the track mix.
Recurrent themes are illness, hypochondria, loss, mourning, absence, distance, rising and forsaken love, guilt, blame, ecstasy and fall. Oneiric and delirium – at the edge of consciousness – are perceived as the only possible languages to express deep truths. The artist is object and subject at the same time and – like the hysteric – in the image of herself she finally finds her own identity: distorted, fragmented and yet the one.

credits

released February 8, 2018

All songs by Augustine (Sara Baggini). All instruments performed and home-recorded by Sara Baggini. Mixed by Sara Baggini and Daniele Rotella.
Cover picture taken from the videoclip for the song 'Augustine' by Francesco Biccheri.

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about

Augustine Italy

Sara Baggini is an Italian songwriter. The name ’Augustine’ is taken from the hysterical woman protagonist of Georges Didi- Huberman’s essay 'Invention of Hysteria'. The condition of hysteria is assumed as paradigm of the artistic work, bonded to a complex feminine sensitivity.
Releases:
2010: album 'One Thin Line'.
2018: 'Grief And Desire'.
2021: 'Proserpine'.
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